GIRL, UNPLUGGED

YA Novel Chapter 12 | 2.5 Minute Read

This is Chapter 12 of a YA novel. To see where the story began, check out the GIRL, UNPLUGGED table of contents post, or head to the GIRL, UNPLUGGED section of the Story Hoarder Substack page to see all the chapters.

This chapter is a 2.5 minute read.

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CHAPTER 12: The Notebook

I looked at the notebook Russ brought me and all I could think was The Notebook makes people cry — not that this notebook made people cry— because my mom always cried when she watched the movie, The Notebook. It was as if the notebook sitting in my hands was nothing more than the phrase “the notebook” which had only one other meaning to me: a movie title. A movie, by the way, I have never seen and have no idea what the plot was. I was pretty sure the movie was romantic, which led to another thought in my head: The Notebook is romantic — and that made me blush. 
Russ brought a notebook out of Dr. Davies office because — how did he put it? He thought of me? That was nice, I guess. Was it more than nice? I didn’t get him. At all.

That much was clear. 
But it was nice.
It was exactly what I had been looking for and he just sort of knew. It was like a warm blanket being thrown over my shoulders on a cold night. The next step was for me to pull it close around me and snuggle in. In other words, it was time to write.
It was awkward. I’m a blogger, not a “real” writer. I type my words – I always have. I sat there quietly contemplating this, knowing that it was the silliest excuse for writer’s block, but there it was: finally an opportunity to write, the tools clutched in my hands, and my mind unwilling to make the connection. This was a perfect way to express myself if only I could conjure the QWERTY from the pen. I decided to start with something automatic: a time stamp, something the Internet always provided for me – writing the day, date, location, and time (for this entry it was a vague approximation of "afternoon" rather than the typical preciseness Internet connectivity provided) – I slid the pen across the paper feeling the slowness of this unplugged, one-handed expression. 
I thought about what I would do if I suddenly got power and an Internet connection. The answer was simple: Amy. I’d write to Amy. She was my best friend, and she’s always been the only person I thought was reading what I was writing anyway. I began to write. 

Written in Natalie’s Notebook 

Afternoon 10/6, stairwell NSNM
My heart hurts — I mean really, really aches — when I think that I don’t know how to connect with Amy
…or Rog
…or my mom and dad. 

Or when I think everything posted on my blog might be gone forever. I felt so deeply connected to the permanence of my page — it was turning into a reference manual of my life, one that only I and Amy could decipher (I have always hoped!). Memory feels so unreliable and limited, the digital copy of my emotions could let me know who I was on the days I wrote. The gifs and fandoms are fun reflections, but all I’m thinking about is my writing. It’s funny — until this moment I didn’t realize I felt so attached to it. I thought it was a silly thing I was doing for Amy. I thought it was my version of gaming — a mindless time suck that filled in the in betweens of my life. I thought the fandoms were my prized productions, not my original stuff…
Crap. I feel like I’m about to cry right now (AGAIN!) and that makes me feel extra ridiculous. The tears won’t stop today and while many make sense, does this? I wish I could talk to Amy to process all of this. Even my mom — not that she would get it — but she’d probably do something to make me feel better. I think the scariest part about this is that I don’t know what happens next.

…But at least I have this notebook now. I guess I should thank Russ for it.

Leave a comment - Question of the Week

Thanks for continuing to read the GIRL, UNPLUGGED novel here on the Story Hoarder Substack page. This is the shortest chapter of the GIRL, UNPLUGGED book so far (and I am pretty sure it is the shortest overall), what are your feelings about this? Does a short chapter like this leave you feeling cheated? Especially when reading in a serialized way like this? Should I have included Chapter 13 this week when this chapter came out so light?

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