GIRL, UNPLUGGED

YA Novel Chapter 18 | 9 Minute Read

This is Chapter 18 of a YA novel. To see where the story began, check out the GIRL, UNPLUGGED table of contents post, or head to the GIRL, UNPLUGGED section of the Story Hoarder Substack page to see all the chapters.

This chapter is an 9 minute read.

CHAPTER 18: Secrets

The doors to the museum were all locked, but, since they were glass we figured a little reinforcement wouldn’t hurt. After we helped push Val’s desk up against the front lobby door, Rainbow grabbed my arm and dragged me back to the main room with the cots.  “We need to talk.” Her eyes were all aglow like we were in the middle of the most exciting, most fun event she had ever experienced. The gunshots had stopped and even the normal noises outside had slowed. It was starting to feel safe again, so some students went on a gift shop tour, while others milled around the room finding a place to settle in. Stella was the self-appointed gift shop tour guide and regulator. She kept reminding everyone that we were not looters — there should be no taking things without rhyme, reason, or intent to pay back. “Check the prices!” she kept calling out over the mumbling “shoppers.” I think Stella had started a tally of what everyone took while she stood behind the register. What she planned to do with that tally, I didn’t know.
“Maybe we should help Stella,” I offered. I wasn’t sure what Rainbow had seen — or thought she had seen between Russ and I – and to be honest I was terrified about what we needed to talk about.
 She pulled me over to two cots on the end of the row of cots set up for the night. Then she turned to the group and yelled, “Nat and I are taking these two.”
“We are?” I asked.
“We are,” she said with a nod. Then she folded one foot under her on the cot as she sat down with a bounce. “Now, sit down.”

If it weren’t for the giant dinosaur, and the weird pillows, and the exhibits, and the —wait, let me start that again — if it weren’t for everything else in my surroundings telling me so, I’d think Rainbow and I were having some kind of teen TV show sleepover. Part of me was expecting nail polish to come out and matching mani-pedis to ensue. I laughed nervously. I wanted this to be fun, but girls scared the hell out of me. They can be super sugar sweet one second, and then your worst nightmare the next. I didn’t know Rainbow well enough to know if our current status was edging closer to friends or frenemies. “Okay. I’ll sit.” I put my bags down next to the head of my cot and sat down facing Rainbow, “What’s up?” I tried to keep it light. Like everything was fine. Because everything was fine, right?
“No, no, no! You don’t ask me what’s up — I ask you what’s up?” She leaned forward and bit her bottom lip. I caught a whiff of some fading strawberry scent. Was it a body spray? A shampoo? I didn’t know, but it added to the cuteness of Rainbow. I didn’t know her well, but I wanted to. I wanted this all to be okay, and normal, and friendship stuff. I wanted Rainbow not to be mad at me, or suspicious of me. I wanted to be Rainbow’s friend. 
Oh. Wow. 
That was the kicker. I don’t think I ever wanted to be someone’s friend before. Amy and I had been friends since, well, forever. It was like we were friends before I even had conscious thought, so it just was. Always. But as I sat there looking at Rainbow’s eager smile, it occurred to me that all of my nervousness surrounding her and Russ wasn’t just about how I felt about him, but also how I felt about her. I wanted to be her friend. I mean, here we were, in this terrible situation and she was having fun. I didn’t know what motivated it yet, but if Rainbow held the tickets to the fun train, I wanted one. 
I decided to take a leap of faith. I leaned in and matched her smile. “What’s up with what?”
She rolled back and groaned playfully. “Oh my god, Nat. Really? Don’t tell me you don’t see it! Are you one of those girls who walks through this world clueless to the natures of the humans surrounding them?”
Ummm…. Yes? Rainbow was still full of a playful nature, but her question took me out of the mood like a slap to the face. I’m pretty sure she nailed it. I’m a bit clueless to it all. Was she laughing because I let my guard down? Was she telling me how clueless I was about how much she hated me?
She continued. “I mean how could the brilliant mind behind Talia’s Tales —“
“I don’t know about ‘brilliant’,” I said. I wasn’t about to fall into a trap.
She stopped, tilted her head and put her hands on her hips. “Don’t interrupt my outburst.” Then she stuck out her tongue. Like we were ten. Oh my god this girl was either psycho, or hilarious. “I was just wondering how the brilliant mind behind Talia’s Tales — the girl who connects to us all with her fanfic, her poetry, her nuanced reflections upon her day to day — how that same girl could be so disconnected from what was going on right in front of her.”
“Do you mean the fact that you are completely out of your mind?” I asked in jest trying to ramp myself back up into this play inside of our chaos. “Nope. I haven’t missed that at all.”
Rainbow leaned in and whispered, looking somewhere over my shoulder. “I mean Russ. What’s up with Russ being so into you?”
I turned quickly to see if anyone was near enough to hear Rainbow. Everyone was in their own conversations, mostly across the room. I accidentally locked eyes with Russ for a moment who — even though he was talking with Colin — did one of those head bop things boys do when they are trying to say hello without saying a word. 
This, of course, led to Rainbow playfully punching me in the back of my arm and hissing, “You see?”
I saw. But what did I see? Russ said hi. Big deal. I bet if I looked all around the room any one of my other classmates would do the same. I tried it, but no one else was looking my way. It was just a coincidence — Russ happened to be looking my way at the time that I turned. He was probably just looking at Rainbow, anyway. I looked back at him and Colin and we met eyes again. Instead of the nod, he pantomimed either “What is it?” or “Do you need me?” or “Are you looking for me?” Something in that horrifying neighborhood of, “I will stop my conversation across the room with Colin and come over to you and Rainbow to join in the chat you gals are having because you keep looking at me giving me the clear signal that you would like me to do so.” I shook my head and waved my hand in order to send a very clear message of, “Stay the hell away from what’s happening over here because I don’t know what is happening over here.”
By the time I turned back to Rainbow, I know I was blushing. I just hope I turned in time so Russ didn’t see it. 
“Soooooo?” Rainbow asked. “Do you see what I’m talking about?”
I shrugged. “He knows my little brother,” I said.
“Do you like him?” Rainbow asked.
I stared at Rainbow. I never talked to anyone — I mean anyone — about this stuff except for Amy. Even with Amy it was often like pulling teeth. My thing with boys — mostly Murph, I guess if I’m being honest — is secret crushes. Did I like Russ? The fact was, I was pretty sure I was still in the secret phase of my crushing. I barely even had the conversation with myself about it, and now Rainbow wants me to tell her how I feel! Just like that? Like it’s no big deal to say these things out loud?
“He does have that messy-cute thing going for him. Kind of like boy-next door. I’m not sure he’d get a part in Barista Boys, but I think he might qualify for a Wolf Nights casting call. I’m still undecided on the whole smoking thing. Colin smokes too, and I always wonder if that’s a deal breaker for me—”
“Wait. Do you like Colin?” Bingo. Distraction. Stella mentioned him earlier, and now this? I heard it, I leaped on it and we were off of me!
Rainbow blushed a little. With her pale, freckled skin I was expecting more redness, but maybe she had gotten all of that under control somehow. Her eyes darted back up over my shoulder and this time I imagined she was looking at Colin. Then she looked back down and hopped over to sit on my cot next to me. “Scooch over,” she said. I did and we both leaned forward as if shielding our secrets with our bodies was a thing. “Okay, Nat. Here’s the thing. I feel like I can talk to you, so I am going to confess something to you that I recently discovered. First of all, I don’t even want to say this, but I think my mom is right. I think I might be a bit boy-crazy. Secondly, if I am being honest with you, yes, I think the one boy that can cure me of the disease is Colin.”  She dropped her head in her hands in some sort of shame and I could see the redness I expected before consuming her ears. 
Now I started legitimately laughing out loud, really maybe too loud, at Rainbow’s reaction. Was she going to be embarrassed now? She started this! She turned to look at me, still leaning on her hands, looking up to me in disbelief. “Why is that so funny to you? I’m like baring my soul to you?”
I couldn’t help  myself, but that made me laugh even more! On that laugh the worries danced out of me. As I sat there and thought about Rainbow and Colin it hit me — Colin was always there when I saw Rainbow talking with Russ! It wasn’t Russ, it was Colin all along. I started laughing at myself amid it all, which made it look like I was really losing it. That led to Rainbow laughing along with me. “Why are we laughing? Stop!” She playfully punched me in the arm. “What is wrong with you?”
I caught my breath and tried to whisper, “You are hilarious.”
“Me?”
“Yes you! You are turning all shades of red the second I ask you about Colin, but you wanted me to just — I don’t know what — explain Russ without a second thought?”
“I can explain myself, thank you very much.” It was Russ, of course. 
Right behind me, of course. 
Why did we sit with our backs to everyone? “What, pray tell, needs explaining?” He playfully tugged on a lock of my hair like he was using it to ring a bell. I could not turn to look at him. I knew he was there. He knew I knew he was there. That was going to have to be enough. I wanted to vomit. I stared straight into Rainbow’s soul attempting to burn it with my thoughts for putting me in this horrible situation. She looked back, at first a bit shocked, and then the laughter returned, this time she was the loud one. And I couldn’t help but join her. 
“I think you broke them, dude,” Colin said, patting Rainbow gently on the head. I began to rock in even further hysterics. 
“You don’t have any sisters, do you? This is possibly the most normal state of girls I know. I don’t know what I did — I never really do — but I might have fixed them!” He knelt down behind my cot between Rainbow and I and put a hand on each of our shoulders poking his head between us. “You’re welcome, ladies. Enjoy!” Then he tapped where his hand was, got up and said, “We should leave them to it, Col. Please lead the way to Stella’s stash.”
By the time they walked away Rainbow and I both had tears in our eyes and smiles that might’ve been bright enough to light our way home. I don’t know if it was the conversation, the good, warm feeling of laughter shaking my bones, or just an amplification of all little nice things in this environment of let downs all around, but my secret was starting to feel like good news that should be shared. I really liked Russ being around, and when he knelt down behind us with his arm around me, just like it must have been around Rainbow too, I wanted to sink into it. 
I leaned over to Rainbow, cupping my hands around my mouth and her ear and I whispered — the way secrets are supposed to be passed, “I think I do like Russ.”
“I knew it!” she sat back, smiling. “Have you written anything about him yet?”
  
Rainbow and I talked for some time after the boys left us. I explained to her that I don’t really write on demand like it seemed she wanted me to do. I told her all about how I’ve been obsessed with Murph forever and didn’t even notice Russ in any real way until all this happened. I told her all about how my writing even got started, with Amy encouraging me and posting my stuff before I ever thought about going online. 
“Amy was pretty awesome,” Rainbow remembered. “I had a bunch of classes with her and we joked around a lot.” I could totally buy that. Rainbow was cool people. Amy would have identified that right away. “I was sorry she had to leave.”
“Me too,” I said, trying to tamp down the sadness that welled up at the mention of it. Part of me forgot that Amy wasn’t going to be as easy to reconnect with as my family. I was starting to believe that getting back home would be the answer to all of my problems, but if the power didn’t come back, if the Internet, or wifi, or phone lines didn’t return, how was I going to reconnect with Amy? We were having a hard enough time traveling just a couple of miles to get home, how would I ever manage to bridge the distance between Amy and I who were nearly 80 miles apart? 
“Listen, Nat,” Rainbow said, obviously reading my mood shift. “This thing won’t last forever. I just know it. I’m sure you’ll be able to see Amy long before you and Russ have your first kid.”
And that’s when I threw a plastic pillow at her. She ran away saying that she had to go pee.
I laughed, looked around and realized everyone in the group must have joined Russ and Colin back at the gift shop. I was about to get up myself, but realized I was alone and decided, instead, to take out my notebook.

Written in Natalie’s Notebook Sun is setting 10/6

Right in front of me

Under my nose

Someone I never looked twice at

Someone whose shoulder I want to lean on

Right in front of me

Always a smiling face

In good times and bad

Never fails to find the silver lining

Best friends are built of such stock

Opened my heart to possibility

When all I wanted to do was unplug.

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